Happy Endings quotes are magical. So memorize them! Or maybe get them tattooed upon your body.  I don’t know your style.

happy endings season 2

Happy Endings Quotes for Season 2

“I thought the worst day of your life was the day you got that haircut that you currently have right now?” – Max

“Honestly, on a scale of fur to scales. I prefer scales.” – Alex

“In a word, amahzing!” – Penny

“Who wants to twirl with me?” – Penny

“Year of Penny. Suck it.” – Penny

“You’re a lawyer and a dentist?”
” I love cleaning teeth. What can I say. Sue me.” – Max

“You’re like black Max. You’re Blax!” – Max

“Why are we same watching the same Lethal Weapon scene over and over again.” – Alex
“Because I lost my Murtaugh.” – Max
“I don’t understand most of what my friends say.” – Alex

“I’ve gotta make some more jambalaya. Women are just going crazy for it at the store.” – Alex
“Really? Women are just gong crazy for trying on clothes and eating hot seafood soup?” – Max

“If that’s work then I should be considered one of Chicago Business Weekly Top 30 Under 30.” – Max

“I might get bangs. No, I’m not gonna do that. Jane, you crazy!” – Jane

“What? Oh now a brother can’t twirl?” – Brad

“Is this cause I stabbed you? I said I was sorry.” – Max
“You did not say you were sorry. You said ‘Comme ci comme ca. That was pretty cool how it went into your leg. I thought there would be more blood.'” – Brad
“That’s my version of an apology. And it’s pretty heartfelt.” – Max

“You have a better chance of being black than professional. …That’s not a challenge.” – Brad

“I’m not really afraid of dogs. I was just afraid of what would happen to a dog if you owned one.” – Dave

“Richard Gere is not a hurricane Katrina denier.” – Dave

“I am a mess. Like psycho. I will like friend your Mom on facebook and start showing up to events I was not invited to!” – Penny

“Welcome, you’re my first gentleman caller. That makes me sound like a prostitute. I’m not a prostitute.” – Penny

“I’m not sure you should be feeding peeps to the snake.” – Jane
“No, he loves them.” – Alex

“Let’s go talk about gay stuff. Don’t you wish they made trading cards of designers?” – Max

“Give me the couch icecream. And let’s get you dressed. …Give me the ground icecream.” – Jane

“There’s a snake loose and it’s mad at me because I probably gave him diabetes.” – Ale

“Frolf is not a sport.” – Jane
“We have a newsletter.”

“Is your breakdown sponsored by Breyers?” – Jane

View more Happy Endings Quotes !

Happy Endings returns to ABC for Season 2 on Wednesday, Sept. 28, after Modern Family. Happy Endings season 1 in now available on DVD.