Never has Gossip Girl been so divinely fun as when we saw Dan and Blair drunk in an elevator together.

Photo: The CW

Unfortunately for Chuck and Blair (Chair) fans, Gossip Girl season 5 took a dramatically decisive turn towards Dan and Blair (Dair) in the Gossip Girl season 5 episode “Con Heir.”

We can see why Penn Badgley confessed his preference for having Dan with Blair. And it’s not just because Blake Lively (Serena)  is his ex-girlfriend. The chemistry between Badgley and costar (and just friend, guys) Leighton Meester is unbelievable.  It may have taken a lot of booze, but we got them to a good place, er –  sexually!

If you are a Chuck and Blair fan, you’ll likely point to the evidence of alcohol as a reason that this relationship has no ground to stand on. We would gently remind you that Chuck and Blair once had to resort to jealousy games just to keep interest in dating.

Speaking of Chuck, his mother is back in the picture. Or, technically, we haven’t seen her again – but her blood saved his life. He’s on a RELENTLESS PURSUIT, which seems to be the same ol’ for him. At least he doesn’t have Hep C. Sorry Uncle Jack.

While Gossip Girl was encouraging us to become stronger in our Dair love, it was painting a villainous portrait of the Van der Woodsen family. Lily is a snob about staying even one night in Brooklyn, insulting Rufus’ fondness for the place every step she took. She also is united with her ex-husband and daughter in trying to slander and trick Ivy. Is there any way to look at this without feeling an immense amount of empathy for dear Ivy? She cared for an old woman and the woman rewarded her. If the show wanted to sell us on a way to keep this new ast member here, well, they’ve got us trying to convince them of it now. Because it’s just not fair! Leave her alone. She’s a poor princess in a penthouse and everyone is trying to — blah blah blah,  you get the point. She’s not THAT innocent, but she’s innocent enough. Not that anyone wants that tagline, “You know that guy Joe? He’s innocent enough of this crime, no jail!”

However, Lola and Nate are a snooze, and that storyline is criminal. Nate would never date a girl with such a messy fishtail braid.

Photo: The CW

Serena becoming Gossip Girl is such a disgusting twist of events (for so many reasons, the least of which is her previous crusade to get the site shut down about 500 times) that we can only hope she’ll give up the reigns quickly. (Despite Georgina’s ominous warning not to give up the password.)

Finally… let us end with a hint of an obvious spoiler. With Dan and Blair cruising around town and making out in cabs and alleyways (seriously, Blair? love isn’t supposed to be so dirty!) what are the chances that someone will volunteer a picture or information about how she’s violating that dowry/pre-nup/agreement thingy? (Legal terms, sorry for going over your head.) Sure, that cab driver looked friendly in the moment, but he wants a pay day the same as anyone not already swimming in money. (I would also like a pay day. Or at least a Payday candy bar.)


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