How’s my carousel horse sweater look, guys? Knew it – it’s fabulous. Here’s a collection of the best Glee Quotes from “The Comeback.” The episode was spectacular and gave us tons of quote-worthy tidbits. I’m going to be using Brittanys’ “No one ever taught me how to use a calendar” quote as a blanket excuse for everything.

glee the comeback“Yes losers, I’m committing Sue-icide.” — Sue Sylvester’s Note

“These gummi vitamins didn’t work at all.” — Sue Sylvester

“Will,  you have more grease in your hair than the guy behind WikiLeaks!” — Sue Sylvester

“I’m so depressed I can’t even open this pamphlet.” – Emma’s pamphlet (paraphrased)

“My dad always said there are two days to get a woman to love you–take them hunting and rock n’ roll.” — Sam Evans

“I totally almost choked on a gumball once.” — Sue Evans

“Who’s more rock n’ roll than Justin Beiber? No one, that’s who.” — Sam Evans

“I agree with SpongeHairSquareChin.” — Sue Sylvester

“I wore a tank top today because I thought it was summer. No one ever taught me how to read a calendar.” — Brittany

“So sorry for not being sorry for interrupting.” — Sue to Emma and Will

Emma: “Sue should join the glee club.”
Will: “I’m sorry?”
Sue: “Err… I’d rather be dead.”

“You’re lucky I left my blow gun at home, Airbags, ’cause I’ve got a clear shot at your nines.” — Sue to Santana

“Dude, that haircut makes your mouth look even bigger.” — Puck to Sam

“I gotta get that girl on my Cheerios.” — Sue about Sam

Brittany: “What’s that look called?”
Rachel: “‘Sexy school girl librarian chic’.”

glee justin bieber

“There’s only one “I” in “diva” and that I is me.” — Mercedes

“I have to get my cross-trainers. Wanna know why? ‘Cause I’m gonna be doin’ some runs.” — Mercedes

“I will never forgive you for this.” — Sue Sylvester
“Deal.” — Mr. Schuester

Sam: “We think this song is an anthem because everything the Bieber does is epic.”
Artie: “Truth!”

“I’m totally turned on by the Biebs … that is until I remember that he looks like he’s 12 and it’s kind of creepy.” — Lauren

“Mmm, Sammy Evans you are Biebalicious.” — Santana

Puck: “Can I touch your knockers now?”
Lauren: “Only if you wanna lose your hand. But you’re on your way.”

“Yeah, I know I’m hot enough to melt some butter but I want to be great.” — Lauren

“Most teachers think by cutting class I may improve my grades.” — Brittany

“And William – I don’t care how adorable those kids are; if I hear one song from that classic rock outfit Journey I will start pulling catheters.” — Sue Sylvester

“I mean, my carousel horse sweater should make me look like an institutionalized toddler but no – I look hot and smart. I feel like Michelle Obama.” — Santana

“Listen Rachel, I’m gonna give you some tough love right now. When people look at you they don’t see what you’re wearing. They see a cat getting its temperature taken then they start screaming.” — Brittany

“Here’s how I see it. I know I’m the hottest bitch in this joint. If I was a country my flag would be a fist giving the world the finger.” — Lauren

“No pocket lesbian Bieber hair!” — Sue Sylvester

“Oh Will, Charles Manson would have been a fun addition to your pack of losers.” – Sue Sylvester

Glee season 2 episode 13: The Comeback