We’re live-blogging Glee quotes from “Original Song”!

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Kurt: Sometimes I don’t feel like we’re the Warblers. I feel like Blaine and the pips.

Rachel: These are for you, just in case. It’s pretty emotional.

Rachel: You’ve got just one egg, you’re not going to make an omelet. Oh damn you Dads, why did you settle for just me. Only child, only child, only child. The only Berry on my family tree.

Quinn: Prom Queens live, on average, five times longer than normal people. It’s probably because they smile a lot. And smiling has been proven to ward of diseases.

Warbler: This is a kangaroo court!

Sue: Consider this the opening salvo of World War Sue.

Mr. Schuester: I think we’re doing original songs for regionals!

Sue: If it isn’t Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Fake Boobs.

Brittany: I don’t even remember putting it in there.

Blaine: Please make sure everything I say goes down in the official minutes.

Warbler: Why don’t we just play it on kazoo’s?

Santana: This is a song I wrote for Sam, it’s called Trouty mouth. (Sings) Guppy faced trouty mouth is that how people’s lips look where you come from in the south? Grouper mouth, froggy limbs, I love sucking on those salamander hands, wanna put a fishhook in those lips so cherry red. If you tried hard enough you could suck a babies head.

Puck: It’s called big ass – heart. (Sings) My girl went to the doctor because her heart had palpitations … That’s one GD big heart. Oh, that big ass heart.

Finn: Oh, scary Quinn. Okay.

Blaine: Kurt, there is a moment where you say to yourself – ‘Oh, there you are. I’ve been looking for you forever.’

Blaine: You move me, Kurt.

Mercedes: (Sings) I said hell to the know. They tried to take away my tots, I said hell to the no. Because I’m the one who calls the shots. I said, whoa oh oh. I said hell to the no no, no no, no no. Tell me I should eat my Wheaties. You know what, hell to the no. Tell me I’ll come down with diabetes. I say hell to the no. Try to make me change my eats. But that isn’t me. I’m a whole lotta no no no. Aw, hell to the no.

Santana: Mr. Schu, I wrote another verse of Trouty Mouth.

Mercedes: Well, she literally throws sticks at me.

Aural Intensity: (Sings) Jesus is a friend of mine.

Rod: My hairdresser is a gay.

Blaine: And do you know how many Gaps there are in Ohio? Tons.

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