The Yearbook Quote we’d Suggest for ‘Glee’

Jump if you love mattresses. ...Or if you see a bedbug! Picture from Fox

The latest episode of Glee (I almost typed #glee which I guess speaks of my Twitter obsession) moved around the theme of yearbooks. Ah, do you remember those days of agonizing over having your makeup freshly applied before you were called to pull a strained smile over your face and pretend you didn’t fake sick as often as you could because the entire High School experience was bearable, at the very best?

“…they jumped and flailed and looked like they were re-enacting a scene from an original musical where they had meshed Annie with Peter Pan.”

Yearbooks weren’t all that was on the mind of Gleekster’s last night, oh no! Psh, like they don’t cram as much as possible into each episode before ignoring it entirely (see: Rachel lusts for Will, Puck and Rachel, Artie in love)! We uncovered the plots of faked pregnancies, saw that Quinn still isn’t really showing a baby bump which I’m not sure is normal…., Finn disappointed Rachel, and the whole lot of those scallywags jumped around to sell mattresses as a way to attain some fame.

Here’s another High School anecdote of mine – I knew a guy we’ll call Xhris, who posed as a model for the Sears catalog. He didn’t reveal this to everyone in the hopes that it’d make him famous.  He hid it under layers of lies! Then he polished his lies to a fine sheen!  And to this day I bet those pictures still follow him around like …uh, whatever follows people around. (Rats? Toilet paper on the shoe? I got nothing…)

My point is that I don’t know how being in a commercial for mattresses seemed anything but flat-out embarrassing. Still, they jumped and flailed and looked like they were re-enacting a scene from an original musical where they had meshed Annie with Peter Pan.

Flying orphans should be happy, dammit. But this entire episode was about covering your sadness. That is why I propose that Glee’s yearbook quote should be: “Fake it ’till you make it.” I think that Todd VanDerWerff would agree, as he wants us to understand this is the saddest show on TV. Yet I have a feeling singing makes endorphins in your body, so if you just start singing along…

Glee quotes I found memorable:

+ “This year, I got myself a bit of an eye lift. And while they were in there, I told them to go ahead and yank out those tear ducts. Wasn’t using them.” – Sue
+ “Swirlies. Patriotic wedgies.” – Kurt
+ “Strangely, it did make me feel more American.” – Artie
+ “Ken has a lot of flaws. He has 74 flaws as of yesterday.” – Emma
+ “We here at Mattress Land believe that mattresses aren’t just for sleeping and fornicating anymore.” – Mattress dude
+ “What’s that song about overcoming personal and professional disappointments? Oh yeah!” – Rachel
+ “Aside from nudity and the exploitation of animals, I’ll pretty much do anything to break into the business.” – Rachel
+ “Hey, Andrea. That Sue’s Corner I just did? Talkin’ about you.” – Sue
+ “And what if I were just to innocently murder you, Will? I’d still have to go to trial. Probably get off with justifiable homicide!” – Sue
+ “There’s a stack of mattresses in the choir room piled as high as the empty hair gel bottles in the dumpster outside your apartment!” – Sue