In this edition of Glee quotes we only got a couple great Santana quotes, but also got some insight into Mike Chang’s Mom (PANDA TEA?) and how mature people like Principal Figgins read the word “Ke$ha.”

“My headband, you’re my headband / Wrapped right around my melon / You’re a product like Magellan” – Rachel Glee Quotes (singing her own “My Headband” song)

Rachel: “I’ve never even had a drink.”
Finn: “Seriously? No wonder I never got past second base.”

“Your face tastes awesome.” – Rachel to Blaine

“Kurt’s been blackmailing me every since he saw my browser history.” – Finn

“I caught a whiff of hairspray and went full Linda Blair in the girls’ bathroom.” – Santana Glee Quotes

“I told my mom I had the flu and she made traditional tea made out of panda hair.” – Mike Chang Glee Quotes

“You ain’t lived until you seen me in a cowboy hat!” – Coach Beiste

“Bisexual is a term that gay guys in high school use when they wanna hold hands with girls and feel normal.” – Kurt Glee Quotes

“I’d say “bye,” but I wouldn’t wanna make you angry.” – Blaine

Rachel: “Blaine and I have a lot in common.”
Kurt: “A sentiment expressed by many a hag by many dating a gay.”

“Ke$ha’s been a cultural icon for weeks, and I really want to do her music justice” – Brittany Glee Quotes

“It’s kinda like nursing a POW back to health so he’s at his strongest when you torture him.” – Sue Sylvester Glee Quotes

“I owns that guppy mouth. Those trouty Aerosmith lips belong to me. … You know what this is not? Hey honeys. This is not a Big Red commercial. No me gusta.” – Santana

“And now, performing the hit song Tik and also Tok, by rapper Ke and dollar sign ha, New Directions.” – Principal Figgins Glee Quotes

“I rode a bull and was thinking of you.” – Will (To Emma in voicemail, while drunk.)

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