“Jez Smith” — At the photo shoot for the “America’s Next Top Model” fragrance, Dream Come True, the stakes are raised as the models pose in front of the client, Hatch Beauty founder Ben Bennett on America’s Next Top Model on The CW.

Photos: Walter Sassard/The CW
©2012 The CW Network, LLC. All Rights Reserved

Have you sniffed the fragrance? If so, what was your verdict on the scent?

Sophie Summer looks to have the best photo. What do you think?

Catch the next episode of ANTM British Invasion on Wednesday, May 9, 2012 at 9 p.m. ET/PT on The CW.

I’m just going to give a couple brief reviews of the two episodes, but I’ll tackle them one at a time. Why? Because if I try to combine them I’ll get confused. I’m a smart person, honest. But 5am wake up calls plus the necessary glass of wine with the show doesn’t equal A+ brain functions. You understand, rights?

First episode: “Square One”

Title Card:
Welcome to Cougarton Abbey

(Another Community shout out. The amount that these shows love each other and cross over despite being on competing networks is fantastic.)

What happened:

While the sight gag C-storyline was kind of cute (who could keep a white shirt clean longer – Jules or Bobby? Bobby won, BTW), I honestly was too wrapped up in the excellent other storylines to care too much about that one.

First, there was Jules and Grayson. Despite not wanting to move in together until closer to the wedding, the hurricane from last week destroyed Grayson’s house so he was forced to move in with Jules. At first they figured it would be a breeze, but of course, it quickly declined into the realization that both of them were still carrying a lot of baggage from their unsuccessful first marriages.

When Jules made up a small white lie to cover up forgetting to flush the toilet, Grayson was worried that she would eventually become like his ex-wife, who as soon as they got married suddenly changed her tune about everything. She no longer wanted the life and family Grayson did. She wasn’t interested in the things he was interested in anymore. He didn’t want to be blindsided by Jules. Jules tries to fix it by laying all of her crap out for Grayson, even the truly upsetting stuff – like her hair issues – over dinner. But before she can do that, Grayson shows up for dinner 20 minutes late and reminded her of all the times Bobby was late for dinner, or just never came home at all, because he was off sleeping around with what I’m sure were very intelligent waitresses at the IHOP. Thanks to the increasingly thoughtful Bobby, Jules finally comes around and they work it out.

The other story was my faaavorite because Travis is my faaaavorite. Ellie and Laurie get into an argument over who is the sexiest, and Travis, unable to keep himself out of it, decides the only way to settle the issue is to have them both write out a list of everyone they ever slept with (it’s quite an extensive list – they high five that out) and see if there are any crossovers. There is one, who declares Ellie the winner. Thing of it is, despite her initial excitement, she gets upset when she overhears Andy talk about how she isn’t that sexy in the bedroom anymore. Ellie gets sad that it’s expected and Laurie realizes one day she is going to want to get married and not want to put on “the show” anymore. Travis, being the one character on the show that borders anywhere near sanity and logic, suggests that they don’t put on a show (unless it is Laurie, with him) and just give the guy a moment that lets him know they care. That kid… it’s almost like he wasn’t raised by a pack of alcoholic nutsos! But despite how great it was, the story was also heartbreaking as we watched Travis continue to pine for his One True Love – Laurie. Le Sigh…

Second Episode: “It’ll All Work Out”

Title Card:

Welcome to Cougar Town
Are we still on TV?

YES! YES YOU ARE! And for a whole other season, at least! WOOOO.

What Happened:

Speaking of that dilemma, this episode is about Jules having Thanksgiving to make up for everyone missing it in the fall. Why did they miss it? Well…. Because of ABC. I’ll let the characters explain.

Jules: This pictures skip from Labor Day to New Year’s. How did we miss Thanksgiving?
Laurie: Remember? Our schedules got all mixed up. We went away… and none of us really knew when we were coming back.
Jules: Guess what? Tomorrow we celebrate Thanksgiving.
Laurie: Or we celebrate Thanksgiving in the Fall.
Jules: What if we’re not around next Fall? What if a new group comes in and replaces us? Everybody’s gonna be like, “What happened to the Cul de Sac Crew? I miss them. Who are these new people? They’re not so good.”
Ellie: Nope.

Well played, guys. Well played.

But just because it was Fakesgiving and not Thanksgiving (a term Jules was loathe to find out everyone agreed was happening) doesn’t mean there wasn’t going to be the normal family drama of that particular holiday. For the Jules and Grayson it was the fact that he had written vows (a song, natch) but she hadn’t gotten there yet. But since she said she had, he demanded to hear them. Never failing in tasking her son with inappropriate chores, Jules asked Travis (with some help from Laurie and Bobby – even more inappropriate!) to write them. Let’s just say it didn’t go well. Most suggestions put on the table involved beer and/or having sex with Matt Damon. I don’t know, sounds like some solid wedding vows to me! In the end, they listened to Jules talk about how much she loves Big Carl and used that. Fitting.

Speaking of Big Carl – the best wine glass ever lost his life in this episode. RIP. Moment of silence. And he didn’t die of natural causes (not sure what that would be for a wine glass, but go with it…). He was…. MURDERED. Dun dun duuuuunnnn. And that’s where the other family drama comes in. Little Stan is the devil. He tags potted plants in the square and Grayson’s garage. And he is never disciplined by Ellie. So when Ellie tricks Jules into letting Stan be the ring bearer, much to Jules and Grayson’s dismay, things start to get a little tense between the friends. Even more so when Stan comes in the house and throws Big Carl in the air, and he smashes into the floor and breaks into a million pieces. Jules. Freaks. Out. And then she calls Ellie a bad mother. The simultaneous cringing reaction from Travis, Grayson and Laurie was echoed across all of America, I assume. Yikes.

But, as this show is wont to do, the awful moment leads to a heartfelt one between friends. Jules apologizes and Ellie admits she isn’t a great mother and needs to learn to discipline Stan. Which she will do with some help from Jules. It’s lovely. But I still expect Stan to do something awful at the wedding!

As for Big Carl… he was given the proper burial he so deserved and we were introduced to Big Lou. May he live longer than his predecessors.

In two weeks – the final two episodes of the season, but thankfully not the series. (Thanks again, TBS!)

Written by Melissa Miller. Find her on Twitter @serrae

Revenge “Grief” premieres Wednesday May 16, 2012 on ABC.

Revenge “Grief” Synopsis: A painful loss forges a stronger bond between Emily and Jack, Victoria forms a new alliance that could seal Conrad’s fate, and Charlotte sets out on a vendetta of her own with Declan as her target, on “Revenge,” WEDNESDAY, MAY 16 (10:00-11:00 p.m., ET), on ABC. (Revenge Episode Guide)

Revenge Review Questions: What is Nolan doing in that room? What lengths will Charlotte go to in order to destroy Declan?

Revenge ABC Pictures from “Grief”

Revenge ABC Pictures: ABC

Santana’s Pep Talk
She’s going Lima Heights on ALL our asses! And seeing all of the Glee members working really made me … smile.

Rachel’s Celine Dion Solo
Seriously, I got chills!

Paradise by the Dashboard Lights
I didn’t get chills, but this is definitely the best that the New Directions have ever done.

Sue’s number one gesture (point?) when New Directions One
Silent and perfect.

The salute to Mr. Shue
That’s what I’m calling it!

Glee Nationals Review

Photo: FOX

I always go to the yelling place. I have rage. – Best Santana Quotes

Then you start putting your hands through your hair like Danny Zuko. – Best Rachel Berry Quotes

You’re like, our teacher of a lifetime. – Best Finn Hudson Quotes

The unholy trinity. – Best Santana Quotes

This is your moment … take it. – Best Finn Hudson Quotes

I defeated my Nubian Nemesis. – Best Sue Sylvester Quotes

Welcome to the stage, so-called, Finnchel. – Principal Figgins

I’m familiar with the choreography, of course, because I was Jennifer Beals dance double. – Best Sue Sylvester Quotes

Best way to get props is to use props. – Best Sue Sylvester Quotes

My Comanche name is Cheerleads with Wolves. – Sue Sylvester

Gentleman, I asked for a cascade of sparks. – Sue

Sparks on your face is how you get freckles. – Best Brittany S. Pierce Quotes

Maybe basic sheet metal work is just too much for yoru 12th place group. – Sue

You’ve had an amazing career. Did you get there by playing it safe? – Best Rachel Berry Quotes

Britt and I are Gay and Mercedes is black, so kicking us out would be a hate crime. – Santana Quotes

Who’s gonna love you now?
Me. – Beiste

Her legs are so… tiny! She looks like a marionette. But a really pretty, French one, or something.

The colors are kind of drab, but the costumes up-close are fantastic here.

I’m less impressed with these green costumes.

Major tutu action is going on.

Floating on a feather, or something. Blah blah, it’s a pretty picture.

Real ballet shoes end up looking way more busted than that.

Time for pain!

This girl is adorable! Ya hear?

Meanwhile, she looks a little less friendly. Though, to be fair, she’s concentrating.

Just stretching and leaning and looking awesome? I do that all the time.

I feel like the caption should be: TA DAAA!

Shoes, shoes, shoes.

For some reason I think of Sansa from Game of Thrones.

This is a great picture.

Shoe fixing time.

Ooowww.

Amazing.

Graceful arms.

Geez oh man. That is power!

Obviously he is handsome. And he looks a bit like Sylar aka Zachary Quinto.

Erik Ostling/The CW
©2012 THE CW NETWORK, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

Because I grew up watching Center Stage (and Save the Last Dance, now that I think about it) about once a month on VHS, you better believe I am jazzed about this show. So, this summer, we’re gonna get our ballet on!

Aside from America’s Next Top Model, The CW has never gotten it right with a reality TV show before. But I think this just might be it.

Definitely watch this.

BREAKING POINTE Pictured: Ballet West Dancers. Erik Ostling/The CW ©2012 THE CW NETWORK, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

Breaking Pointe Cast includes: Christiana Bennett, Ronnie Underwood, Allison DeBona, Rex Tilton, Beckanne Sisk, Kathleen Martin and Ronald Tilton

“Breaking Pointe” rips back the curtain on the inner workings of elite Salt Lake City Ballet Company, Ballet West. Led by Artistic Director Adam Sklute.”Breaking Pointe” is produced by BBC Worldwide Productions.

When you walk away from a good song, or a good musical, you expect to be uplifted. You want to sing all the songs in the shower, in the car, etc. You have the lyrics in your head and you can’t get enough of them. But I’ve never had that experience with the Smash Musical Songs, and especially not with that finale number. Smash should have done better. It should have been better. But it wasn’t. It was the wrong horse to bet on.

Ellis is still the worst. He really never made much of a stink about the fact that the musical was loosely his idea, and maybe in Smash Season 2 he’ll try to sue or something. But this power-hungry psycho can never be redeemed since he poisoned Rebecca. What’s interesting to me is that he backed Ivy so much, he clearly thought she was the better choice. But Derek, who was also invested in making a hit, saw more potential in Karen.

Derek picked Karen. We can’t not talk about that. This story really gets muddled because of that fact. Karen was inexperienced and not at all necessarily better for the role of Marilyn. (Don’t you think they would have only cast girls who had the Marilyn figure, anyway? It’s downright insulting to put such a thin girl up there when Marilyn was known for her curves.)

I made the argument very early on that Ivy was a villain, and people told me I was crazy. Well, it’s still a complicated subject. Ivy did everything right, and she still didn’t get what she deserved. She was the mean girl, and that didn’t help. But sleeping with Dev wasn’t her fault, because she didn’t know he had a girlfriend when she slept with him. The mean part was telling Karen right before the show. And then, she goes and attempts suicide – so it’s like, hard to say you hate her without feeling kind of gross about yourself. If anything, Ivy proved how very much a Marilyn (weak, sexual manipulator, drug addict, vapid, etc) she is.

Marilyn Monroe? She was not nice. I’ve read books about her written by people who knew her. Monroe was a pretty girl who did ugly things, was ragingly insecure, and was obsessed with fame. Today, she’s any reality TV star. People got so pissed off about Lana Del Rey changing her look, but it’s exactly what Marilyn did. She changed her entire name to brand herself. Audrey Hepburn is a better role model, but even she wasn’t the saint we all pretend she was.

Now, back to Karen and Ivy. Karen was almost too nice. But she still didn’t deserve that part. It was an insane choice. She didn’t know the numbers the way Ivy did, the outfits weren’t tailored for her, she wasn’t prepared, etc. Karen’s voice wasn’t better, nor were her dance moves. Even though Ivy is a bitchy girl, she should have been Marilyn. And I was hoping that the show would get at least one thing right. But they didn’t. Smash was a season-long series that failed in nearly every step it took.

Photo: NBC

But before we look ahead, let’s look back at last night’s shenanigans. The episode revolved around Lemon and George’s wedding and a storm hitting Bluebell. These two events led to a lot of exploration of 4 different couple dynamics. There was Lemon & Annabeth, George & Lavon, Lemon & George and, of course, Zoe & Wade.

As Lemon prepared for her big day, Magnolia, Lemon’s  friends and her pretty darn awful future mother-in-law helped her get through all the little traumas. An unfortunately timed zit on Lemon’s otherwise perfect complexion. An accidental spill of mimosa on Lemon’s Monique Lhuillier wedding gown (eeek!). There were also the not so little traumas, like the fact that Lemon’s perfectly planned wedding under the stars was suddenly a not so perfect wedding under a hurricane. Given that Lemon would probably have a panic attack if she spotted one gnat at an impromptu picnic in the town square, you can imagine that she didn’t take this very well.

Also not helping Lemon’s sense of calm was Annabeth going on and on about how excited she was to be single again. The two BFFs tried to have a heart to heart, but ended up talking at each other instead of to each other. Annabeth tried to explain to Lemon that a perfect wedding won’t equal a perfect marriage, so don’t worry about the wedding, but all Lemon heard was Annabeth stomping on the idea of marriage and that Lemon shouldn’t bother. Of course, all was forgiven as Annabeth admits that she just wants everyone to not pity her for getting divorced and that the two will support each other whatever their marital status. It’s nice to see Lemon be a good friend.

An even better Lemon moment was the one between her and Brick as they acknowledged the absence of her mother. Not only is it Mom’s loss, but ultimately their gain, because they were better off without her. Besides, Brick seemed to be making eyes at a cousin of George’s dad. Go Brick! Speaking of possible season 2 pairings – don’t think I didn’t notice the hints that maybe Annabeth would be interested in Lavon! I approve!

Meanwhile, Lavon and George worked their issues out. Lavon realized a big storm was coming the way all small town folk do – someone’s knee was tingling and a rooster laid down in the barn. Duh. I know that’s how I tell the weather. But George just assumed Lavon was trying to put a stop to the wedding. Oh George, don’t be such a boob. Really, George was just having a meltdown because he found out Zoe wasn’t leaving after all so now he needed to marry Lemon. Lavon was THE BEST though, because even when George was a total ass, Lavon still did all he could to save the wedding. He could have let it all get ruined out of spite, but he didn’t. To be fair- he selfishly needed this wedding to happen so he could get over Lemon. But still. George was kind of a d-bag.

But it didn’t matter because a series of disasters kept happening, no matter how hard the two worked together to make the wedding happen. In the end, Lavon was just the friend George needed to realize he was only in a rush to marry Lemon today because he wanted to force himself into being faithful. I’m glad these two made up, at least a little. Lavon needs friends. George then had to break the news to Lemon….

Now we all know I go back and forth on the madness that is Lemon Breeland. She can be charming, infuriating, horrible and, on occasion, really sweet. This moment, right when George told her, after allllll the craziness of the day, that he wasn’t going to marry her because of his feelings for Zoe, well, I kind of loved her. Why? Because she gave him exactly what he deserved – a right hook to the face. What a dick. George Tucker may be the Golden Boy of Bluebell but in this episode he was a selfish man toying with everyone’s feelings.

Which brings us to the only thing that matters in this episode – Wade and Zoe. These two were still on the outs after Zoe cost Wade the race money. I just want to yell at the screen “Kiss and make up already, you crazy kids. No seriously! Make out!!” But I didn’t because my kids were asleep and no one wants to wake those monsters. Zoe heads to Mobile to avoid the whole wedding thing, but when the storm hits she needs to head back towards town to get Wade, whose car, despite all of those days of working on it in his wifebeater under the blazing hot sun, has broken down. The storm hits and the two get stuck in a barn with some goats.

For real – I thought I was watching a romance novel movie at this point. Two, soaking wet, hot people, staring at each other. The girl in a sheer white top, the guy in a white tank top that is all clingy. I mean…. wow. There is even a “I have to take this tank top off so we can save a baby goat from barbed wire in the pouring rain” scene. Woah. Let’s all take a minute and fan ourselves. Clutch your pearls and lean back on your chaise lounge chair. I may have rewound a couple times. Thank goodness for a DVR.

But it wasn’t all just gratuitous shots of Wade. Although, let’s face it, it was a highlight. These two also got to the root of their issues – there is a spark between them that has never really been explored. Wade likes to fool himself into believing if they had just slept together that first night it would have been no big deal. But when he says there is something between them, you know that he knows it is more than that. And, finally, I think Zoe starts to see it too. They almost kiss, but the cop comes to their rescue. Damn him. He takes them home to their separate apartments and they are both left to think about what may have been. And about the flirty flirty dirty talk/looks they had in the back of the police car.

Thankfully, Zoe (not Wade, which I think is important to consider) sent a signal that it was on -she shorted out the electricity. Again. He comes over, looking hot in his suit for the wedding, but that didn’t matter because she takes that right off him and they finally, finally have sex. Whew. And apparently it went well, because they both seemed eager to do it again right away. Until Zoe gets a knock at the door (don’t answer!!) so she gets up (nooo) and opens the door expecting to see Lavon (not him!!!) and instead sees a soaking wet George with his bedroom eyes. He tells her that he left Lemon for her and then kisses her and says he will call her tomorrow.

Zoe is, understandably, stunned, and then heads back to her bedroom, where WADE is lying in her bed naked, and she smiles at him and then gets her “well, crap, I’m confused” face. So there it is…. Sigh.

What do you think will happen next season? What do you want to happen next season. Let’s face it – it’s not just going to be “And Zoe and Wade live happily ever after…” I want her to pick Wade because she realizes he is the choice for her. And maybe George needs some time alone. Whatever happens – I’m just going to bask in the glory of that episode all summer long and count the days until season 2 is here!

Written by Melissa Miller. Find her on Twitter @serrae