Fashion Star 2013 Recap: Belly-barring plus size fashion? REALLY?

This week on Fashion Star there has to be one look that is worn by two different models of two different sizes. Basically, it’s the plus size challenge. (The people on Project Runway would begin moaning now.)

Interestingly, the word “plus size” was not really mentioned. I think that was on purpose, though am baffled as to why it seems like such a dirty word on TV.

The official title of this episode is, “Something for Everyone.” You know, as long as they can afford the $300.00 price tag for a skirt from Saks. (You would be just as bitter if you were coveting a Ralph Lauren blouse that you know you’ll have to hope shows up in Marshall’s*.)

Some of the designers, like Priscilla (who I WANT to like, but seems totally and completely horrible) shrug and say that “skinny bitches” aren’t the only ones who can wear their clothes, and didn’t put too much thought into trying to make the outfit purposefully flattering for larger sizes.

Team Nicole Richie

Johana Hernandez – Her black and red peplum dress was…interesting. I wasn’t in love with the color choices.  No bids, and they said it was color that was the problem. But I can’t imagine Express ever having plus size in their store.

Priscilla Barroso – Dammit, I actually liked her dress. But even the plus size dress had a cut out. Is she ridiculous? If someone is plus size, they probably don’t want to bare their belly.  She got no offers, and I was glad.

Daniel Silverstein – His shift dress screamed “Saks” but the larger model couldn’t even walk in the tight dress! It had no sensibility about it for being for a plus sized woman. Either one of her heels broke, or she couldn’t walk. Daniel got no bids. They said it didn’t work for both sizes and was a little gimmicky. Agreed!

Team Jessica Simpson

David Appel – (Wait, his last name sounds like APPLE? Or Appeal?) … He insulted Jennifer Hudson, saying that her post-diet self is still, basically, fat. AND he can’t make up his mind about anything. He needs more confidence. His blazer was a little boring, though reversible.

Garrett Gersen and Jesseray Vasquez – This blue and black cowl neck dress was sleeveless. Which is fine for plus size, but if they don’t want to show their upper arms then they have to wear a jacket and you lose the fun bow detail. Kind of difficult. The models were very well styled with the long dangling earrings and the half-up hair. Macy’s and Saks agreed with me, but Saks won.

Hunter Bell for Hunter Dixon – She’s favored to win, and I could get behind it. Her peplum dress had leopard print with black, and I really like it. It was flattering on both models. This dress belonged in Express, but I knew Saks would fight for it. …Wow, Saks turned it down, though. Luckily, Express bid on it. I also have to say that Hunter Bell looked impeccably styled up on that stage, damn. (I hope she’s not a secret brat, because she’s becoming my favorite.)

Team John Varvatos

Silvia Arguello – My favorite! I actually found this black dress a little shapeless for a plus sized woman. This is the first week where I didn’t love Silvia’s design. Sigh. Saks and Express declined right away to place a bid. But Macy’s did pony up for the dress.  If you’re very thin, this is a nice 60’s dress for you. Of course, a bit short. And since you can’t really wear a necklace with it (without distracting from the flower detail) you’ll have to do a strong lip and some interesting hair. But what about the plus sized version? It’s going to show off your legs, but if you are fairly busty it’s going to look boxy on you.  I would have liked it more as a Spring coat. Shrug.

Brandon Scott – His collared shirt was fine…pretty good. But we should mention that the plus sized male model looked … almost as small as the “smaller” model. Macy’s and Express both wanted the shirt. Macy’s got the win.

Cassandra Hobbins – She’s neurotic and reminds me of Lauren Ambrose. Which isn’t bad, actually. I’m neurotic and I like Lauren Ambrose. She brought us the CEO tunic in black and white colorblocking. I liked it a lot. I would wear it. Although having a white flap covering your behind looks like a diaper or something.  Macy’s and Express both placed a bid. A bidding war went on… and Express won. I hope they do this top in more than just black/white.

Amber Perley – I thought it was an okay dress, but nothing I’d go out of my way to buy. The ties on the back seemed trashy. Saks and Express both bid, but Saks won.

ETC

Most Obvious Non-Fashion Product Placement: Fiat

Best Commercial: Suave with Argan Oil. Argan oil is really good for your hair. I might actually try this.  It’s a much smaller price tag than the tiny bottles of Josie Maran Argan Oil at Sephora.

Commercial with craziest word: Yoplait as a commercial with a red-headed girl who reminds me a lot of Emma Stone. You know, one that has a voiceover by Lisa Kudrow and she talks bout “swapportunity”? Yea. Yogurt is gross.

Most annoying person on the show: Priscilla. Hand’s down. There isn’t even a competition! Girl, I was totally on board for your retro vibe, to curl up and sing Zooey Deschanel songs and stuff. But now? No way. She insults everyone and is so critical. You always hope not to come away as THE villain on a season of a reality TV show. But Priscilla Barroso failed.

Judge who looked most like a regal ostrich? Nicole Richie

It’s laughable: Express is only offering the plus size in up to XL. And their XL is basically a medium at Anne Taylor Loft or  Kohl’s or anywhere else. They are also not showing the top on plus size models on their website, though they are showing three different colors in three different small models.

Weirdest Jessica Simpson Quote: “I know…because I have boobies, myself.”

*Marshall’s is basically the best store, ever. Just an FYI from me to you.

Eliminated: David