This week, the (sometimes) daring dancing duo’s on Dancing With the Stars had to recreate dances by former contestants, and they were also judged by that former contestant. That’s a lot of pressure. It was also a lot of gimmick for some of these people who are still struggling to dance well (like Bristol Palin.)
Kyle Massey and Lacey Schwimmer: They had to re-create the Maks and Mel B passo doble. To prove he’s a man, Kyle drew a fake six-pack on himself and talked about his situation. Kyle is just such a nice guy, that it was hard for him to seem angry the way you need to be for this dance. Mel B was interviewed before the dance and said she had access to a lot of anger. Kyle seemed cuddly and ready to burst out laughing during his dance. But the judges loved it. Mel B said that Kyle was very sexy. Len said it was their best dance yet. Bruno said Kyle was like an untamed young bull. Maybe like Ferdanind.
Kurt Warner and Anna: They danced the Emmitt Smith tango. Anna made it clear they would not do the ring gag that Emmitt Smith had done. I’m not sure if this is because she deemed it cheesy, or because she and Warner are both already married. But their choice to use hand guns a la Charlie’s Angels made very little sense to me. Carrie Ann said Kurts neck was pushed forward too much, and Len said the dance was sharp and had drama.
Bristol Palin and Mark Ballas: It was the Kelly Osbourne Viennese Waltz for these two. Kelly was there, and had a very weird blonde ponytail and thick bangs…it looked like a wig and was very distracting. “My family and the Osbourne’s are very different,” Bristol said. Ya think? But weirder than that is when Mark called her the, “Bristalian.” Anyway, they have got to boot this gal soon because she was so bad. Carrie Ann said Bristol is endearing but is also detached. But the public seems detached from reality as they keep voting her through the next round. I keep waiting for the judges to tell Bristol how bad she is, but they never do.
Rick Fox and Cheryl Burke: They were tasked with the Helio Castronoves quick step. During their training, Fox’s girlfriend, Eliza Dushku, stopped by to show Cheryl how they dance at home. I had a fangirl moment, since I adore Dushku and was just re-watching Dollhouse on Netflix. Eliza is tiny next to Rick, just like Cheryl is. For the performance Burke’s skirt looked like a hula skirt, which made very little sense with Fox’s green pimp suit. Give me a story I can follow visually, people! Why would a Hula dancer take off with a pimp? Carrie Ann said this was Rick’s best dance, which is good news. Of course, we heard that about almost every dancer last night.
Brandy and Maks: They had to take charge with a foxtrot that Gilles Marini had done. Carrie Ann said Brandy attacked the sensuality part, and did very well. Len said this was “the most fantastic foxtrot” – apparently ever? Brandy made a slight mistake, and Len said people were being pedantic about it. I bet half the audience had no clue what that word meant, and that despite having internet access from their phones, didn’t bother to look it up. This is why America is sad.
Jennifer Grey and Derek Hough: This pair had to copy the Drew Lachey tango. I root for this pair, I really do. While the judges go soft on Bristol, they are super hard on Jennifer. Not fair! At least the judges liked this dance. They said there was passion.
Jennifer Grey and Derek Hough tied with Brandy and Maks for the most judges points, leaving Bristol Palin and Mark Ballas at the bottom of that damn leader board.