Here is part three of our DWTS review of season 11 week 3. We finished up the night with a Disney favorite, some time traveling, and a shirtless Rick Fox. (Why don’t I find him super attractive? I feel like Eliza Dushku would be mad at me!)

Kyle Massey and Lacey Schwimmer: First off, don’t ask me why it matters, but I decided that I like Lacey’s hair best when it’s up in a full bun! Anyway. Their story is about a meet-cute of falling in love at a coffee shop. Their first song was by The Eagles, but neither of them knew who they were. Uh, I’m not in my 30’s just yet but I still know The Eagles, dude! I have no clue why Lacey’s waitress costume included a bikini top – whaaat? That was confusing. I thought she was going to be a genie like in Bewitched. Instead, we got a coffee shop romance. But considering how often Lacey teases Kyle and seems to think he’s not very attractive, it was not a story I believed in, dammit! But, it’s better than the two making out on stage and doing interviews where they pretend they’re sleeping together…. so I guess I prefer this. Bruno said Kyle is very likable and his arms are getting better. Carrie Ann said Kyle made it fun. Len said his acting and performance levels are high, but he hasn’t done anything with his footwork. This is probably true. And it probably also stung a lot to hear. Kyle is going to have to really work better or he’ll get tossed to the wolves of “we don’t really recognize you as a celebrity, anyway!” It’d be like not getting into Studio 54! Wait, if Kyle doesn’t know The Eagles what are the chances he knows what Studio 54 is? (Half the reason I know is because of the Neve Campbell and Ryan Phillipe movie from the 90’s which had two different disco soundtracks if which to annoy my friends with, but I digress.)

Mike ‘The Situation’ Sorrentino and Karina Smirnoff: They did the Foxtrot to a Black Eyed Peas Song where they were time travelers. Yup. That’s right. Why did the show pick this fast song for a slower sort of dance? Not fair. Not fair at all. It’s like they want to get this pair eliminated! Carrie Ann said The Situation is making baby steps towards getting better. Len said if they were dancing in his backyard he’d draw the curtains. Bruno said it was entertaining in a weird way. Bite your nails for me (I just did mine, so I’m not going to risk messing them up), this pair is in trouble.  Ironically, the dude famous for showing his abs has not done a dance that showed them off yet.

Rick Fox and Cheryl Burke: Len says Rick went up a notch, and Bruno loved the dance too. Carrie Ann agreed, and thought it was hot and sexy. I was kind of bored, but I was feeling really tired. After this, I deposited myself into my bed and fell asleep before having any thoughts about how hot Joshua Jackson is – that’s how tired I was. Rick Fox managed to have his shirt come unbuttoned (on purpose) during the dance. Voila, hotness.

The 200th episode is coming up, btw. That’s…well, a lot of episodes! You should congratulate yourself if you’ve made it through them all. Make yourself a fake medal, like the yogurt lid ones that Pam made on The Office. (Only, not the Yoplait lids you’re supposed to mail in for Breast Cancer Research support, go mail those in. I don’t know the details because I actually kind of hate yogurt and never eat it.)  We also got the memo that replacing Susan Boyle (who is sick) for tonight’s DWTS results show is Michael Bolton . Haha! You guys, the only thing worse than Michael Bolton’s dance moves are his songs! Ugh. See you tonight!

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