A new Dancing with the Stars results show was last night. The dance we got another taste of was The Situation and Karina. It wasn’t the best dance, but it was definitely the most buzzed about in terms of oddities.

Audrina Patridge and Tony were safe first, which is no surprise since the judges salivated over that horrible dance. Kurt Warner and Anna were saved next. This meant Kyle Massey and Lacey were left.

We were supposed to have a performance by Susan Boyle, but because she’s sick they had to find a replacement. And they decided upon…Michael Bolton, who’d been eliminated on DWTS last week. I can’t believe he was the only one they could get at such short notice. If I say that I like his dancing more than his music, you’ll understand how much I dislike his music.

Ne-Yo performed the song “One in a Million.” He was on the dance floor, and I’m not sure if thoes were his own dancers or just the pro’s from this show, or a mixture of both. But my revelation here was that the DWTS performances are the new version of what music videos used to be. These are what get people talking, MTV doesn’t even play music videos anymore (which is a shame, ask anyone who remembers them.)

Donny Osmond interviewed fans on the street about the Dancing with the Stars season 11 cast. One woman said in a bar fight, Audrina Patridge would win against The Situation – whaaat? Does anyone have crushes? A woman who just got married said she liked Rick Fox. Another girl said she liked The Situation, and she was WEARING A SNOOKI POOF. Haha. Then they had people showing off their situation aka their abs ..aka their lack of abs.

Then it was time to see who else was safe. Jennifer Grey and Derek were saved.Then Rick Fox and Cheryl were told they were in jeopardy but thought they were safe and were hugging. Then Brandy and Maks were saved.

Mark Ballas and Val Scheryadda then had a duel of dancing and music. It was entertaining. Mark plays guitar very well, and Val plays violin well. They played “Toxic” as you know from Britney Spears. I wonder if they picked this song because of the recent Glee Britney Spears episode that was so successful? I guess it fit with the theme of supposedly hating each other on the dance floor. (But are allegedly friends off the floor.) Mal was moving so fast it was making my migraine surface again. I am partial to Mark Ballas.

Michael Bolton performed the song “Hallelujah.” His voice is just sad, to me. I’m not a fan. He had all sorts of fog going on, and then a children’s choir around him. I know I should have thought it was touching, but I just couldn’t get past his voice. I wonder if this is the song that Susan Boyle was going to sing, so the children’s choir was all set up so they needed him to sing this song. I think it’s nice he did it, although it’s a great opportunity so he’d have been dumbfaced not to do it. It’s hard to be mean to Bolton and not feel guilty, I don’t know why. I wonder if Bruno Tonioli felt this same way. I also wonder if Bolton is still dating/married to that actress who is/was on Desperate Housewives. Hm.

Speaking of relationships, Rick Fox said that when he went home last night they had a wardrobe malfunction and his buttons came off there, too. Aka he had sex with girlfriend Eliza Dushku last night. Very subtle.

When Brooke Burke interviewed some contestants backstage, everyone was conversational except for Bristol Palin who gives Beauty Pageant-type answers. You know, predictable, succient, and by-the-book. I don’t want to hear “the right answer” though.

The Situation and Karina were saved, then Florence Henderson and Corky. Bristol Palin was not and neither was Margaret Cho or Rick Fox and Cheryl.

The bottom two were: Bristol Palin and Margaret Cho.

Eliminated: Margaret Cho and Louis van Amstel

“Thank you for the opportunity to let me dance,” Cho said tearfully. I’m so glad she did, too! She might not have had the best technique, but she really did learn to dance and learned to talked about some emotional issues that I think a lot of people could relate to.

Our Dancing with the Stars Review of last night was split into three parts: (Can you tell who I’m talking about via the titles?)

DWTS Review: One Shirt on, One Shirt Off (And Disney’s Jokster)

DWTS Review: a Ghost, a Pop N’ Lockin Vagabond and Patty Hearst?

DWTS Review: Nostalgia, Tea Parties and Rainbows