Just when I think I’m out, they pull me back in. Naturally, I’m referring to ABC’s Dancing with the Stars. I don’t care much about (this sort of) dancing, or (these kinds of) stars…yet when you mesh them together I am FASCINATED.

dancing with the stars 2014

The Opening for DWTS 2013: Help, I think I got a rhinestone lodged in my eye

We begin this season with a familiar thought in my head…”WHO is that?” And it was one of the real dancers (Peta), as the troupe began a routine with lots of sparkly bling and quasi-stars in awkward poses. (Although a few are more relevant stars and didn’t look quite so awkward, I have to admit that Nicole “Snooki”Polizzi is a bit of a natural when it comes to oozing charm and stage presence. And, duh, so is Amber Riley from the performance-driven Glee.

Flirty Flash – Peta and Brant

Peta Murgatroyd (my goal is to learn to spell that before the season ends) is so cute and flirty and she vibed (even if it was for show) very well with her partner, Brant Daugherty. For his part, Daughtery isn’t just attractive, he’s funny to boot.

The pair danced the cha cha cha to … OH NO, the song we all hate…”Blurred Lines.” Try to forget about that so I can say that I LOVED both of their outfits. Brant was in some black and white dance suit….thing. Peta was in a sparkley, sheer nude, and white strappy and fringey thing that was super flattering and moved well with this dance. Btw, they ended with her crouching down in front of his crotch… so…yea, let’s just note that. (Jebus, and this is NETWORK TV?)

They did wonderful, and Ken gave praise to Brant.  Boom goes the chemistry!

“You don’t look horrible.” – Peta
“That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.” – Brant

Snooki let us know that …we should not call her “Snooki” anymore because she’s now a woman after having her baby. So…now she’s Nicole Polizzi, and there’s nothing we can do about it. Do you hear the inherent pout in my words? BECAUSE I AM NOT HAPPY.

Going Miley Cyrus for a moment – Leah and Tony

Leah Remini paired with Tony Dovolani, and it turned out that Leah is very self-critical and has low self-confidence about this whole dancing thing. Still, the girl has PERSONALITY that shines. And I say that having never been a major fan of hers. I can still admit she’s a great actress, psh.

When it came to their dancing, they didn’t have amazing technique, but I liked the energy and the acting via the face via Leah… via, why am I saying VIA so much, and is that Latin or what? It’s a weird word.

Apparently JLo (Jennifer Lopez) is friends with Leah, because they kept showing her and she even was tearing up.

“I cannot wait for the twerking.” – Bruno

Crazy – Corbin Bleu and Karina Smirnoff

“I’ve met my match in the crazy department.” – Karina

I call BS on Karina saying that she’s been wanting Corbin to be her partner for a long time. Now, maybe it’s just because I haven’t seen any of the High School Musical Movies (gasp) and just don’t know the mind of how a dancer works… so it’s possible that Karina has been eyeing his dancing and mentioned him to ABC, even. But it’s also very likely that she only kinda knew who he was and kind of decided that she’d actually always wanted him to be her partner on the show. Basically, let’s wear our “healthy skepticism” hats, okay?

BREAKING ANGER ALERT! The Troupe danced us to commercial with the damned “Blurred Lines” song. THEY ALREADY USED IT AND IT WAS LEAVING MY BRAIN AND NOW IT IS BACK AND HERE TO STAY FOREVER AND WHY CAN’T WE STOP THIS SONG?!

I.do.not.like.that.song.

I do not like that song SO much, that I’m almost starting to like it.

This is serious.

Didn’t know what to expect with you, Jack-O – Cheryl and Jack

Jack Osbourne and Cheryl Burke are a happy couple. There’s humor and positivity, which I love. Sharon Osbourne was there with her husband, and I was touched by the happy tears that Sharon had for her son after he performed his first dance with Cheryl.

A dream deferred – Amber and Derek

“Dancing for me is like a dream deffered. … It was either singing or dancing… We couldn’t afford both.” – Amber

Amber Riley and Derek Hough are a fun couple with lots of energy and ambition.

As a Glee fan (or GLEEK) I was already going to root for Amber. But, c’mon! It was so good! I loved the fringey dress they had Amber in…although not the floral headband. I feel like Amber’s technique is already so…enthusiastic and looking polished. She’s a true performer in the arts.

She had plenty of Glee costars in the audience – like Dianna Agron, Chris Colfer, Kevin McHale, and Jenna Ushkowitz. I’m so glad she had that support…plus, it reminds us (fans) that they really have forged good friendships on that series.

More Notes

  • Elizabeth Berkley Lauren & Val Chmerkovskiy: She’s got CRAZY eyes. I just can’t wait until they talk about how Leah Remini was on Saved by the Bell, too. Dammit, I wasn’t going to write much about their dance but I have to admit that it was pretty darn good. It might be my favorite choreography of the night.
  • Bill Engvall and Emma Slater – He’s just so darn likeable. His partner, Emma Slater wore a purple slug round half her body. So, that’s one way to make a first impression. 
  • Bill Nye and Tyne Stecklein – I slightly worry that they’re mocking Bill…but, no, I think they just know that he’s entertaining and good for a cast that holds variety and interest. I do like the team knowledge name. My other automatic thought, upon hearing, “It’s hot, it’s knowledge” AND seeing the bow tie makes me think of Matt Smith as the Eleventh doctor on Doctor Who.
  • Christina Milian and Mark Ballas- The choreography was so good, I think I just really love contemporary dance. Anyway, I can see that she’s a little shy and introverted with ballroom dancing, so it’ll be interesting to see her bloom. I also feel that Mark’s hair needs a Kid N Play reference. I mean, WHAT?
  • Keyshawn Johnson – I missed this. Oops.
  • Valerie Harper – This woman is amazing, and her spirit is lovely. All the love and joy to her! “It’s good to be alive, and even better to be dancing.” – Valerie
  • Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi and Sasha Farber – She makes me smile, and sometimes laugh. she literally lights up the room because she’s always in such a good mood. And I’m digging on this whole “let’s be positive” angle of life. Also, omg…the floor was leopard print. So, she may not still be going by “Snooki” but that animal print devotion is still ever-present. Woo!

Okay, now I’m tired and need to reboot with licorice and House Hunters. Stay with Small Screen Scoop, the TV Blog that cares. (About dental hygiene… floss!)

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