From wispy feathers to endless sequins, your eyes will never be the same.

We all know the costumes for ballroom dancing can be either cheesy or elegant. Often on DWTS they veer towards what is “entertaining” (read: cheesy.) Here is a recap of the Dancing with the Stars costumes for the 11/15 episode.

Brandy: Apparently there’s a market for frustrated pirates. This pirate wench-inspired outfit made no sense with their song or story. My best guess is that she recently re-watched Pirates of the Caribbean.

Jennifer Grey: Not afraid of her body, she wore one of those outfits that is created out of feathers and air. This makes her skin most of her costume, and I wish she wasn’t so tan. She looks…ALMOST leathery and orange. (Stop yelling, I said ALMOST.)

Bristol Palin: Dressed like a dominatrix who has a strong connection with bats, Bristol had several moves where she had to lift up the sides of her silky black skirt from both sides. It seemed military inspired with the rhinestone shoulder pads (insert technical terms for people who know about military wear), and angry fans could surely read something political into that.

Kyle Massey: A mustard shirt with a shiny, skinny tie with black pants actually looked surprisingly sharp on him. It seemed kind of mod. And I loved The Mod Squad movie. (I’m too young for the original TV show.) But the shiny black stripe on the side of the pants put it over the top as a bit silly. Still, I recognize that as the need for flair that costumes require, and because a vertical line creates a slimming effect.

Brandy: For the tango, her outfit wasn’t horrible. Although one might wonder why she wore textured black tights. The slit on her black skirt was racy, and the sheer black gloves (same material as her tights) were pretty ridiculous. But it’s hard to be down on her after the first pirate costume. After that, anything is an improvement.

Jennifer Grey: For the waltz, she got a pretty ice blue dress. But I could have done without all of the excessive rhinestones. I do love how flowy the skirt was, however. It seemed like a modern interpretation of Cinderella’s dress. Which seems weird, since it’s difficult to forget that Brandy played Cinderella in a made for TV movie once.

Bristol Palin: Her black dress looked preeeeetty similar to the dress that she wore for the first routine. She started with a black hood on, though. That was kind of creepy and silly all in one breath. It was probably the most elegant dress of the night, even with the sheer material on her arms. Just like the first black dress, this one had a split skirt (or a slit.)

Kyle Massey: Boring and military inspired, this outfit didn’t have much to it. There was nothing wrong with it, it just wasn’t fabulous.