The new people for DANCING WITH THE STARS have been released. I’d call them celebrities, but we know better than that, right?
1. Pamela Anderson – from that show where women ran in swimsuits aka Baywatch. She still has big breasts, so she has marginal fame. Every year they sag, and every year she wears a little less clothing. This is not going well for the American public at large.
2. Chad Ochocinco – from the Cincinnati Bengals aka athletic but boring.
3. Aiden Turner – from All My Children aka who cares.
4. Erin Andrews – ESPN sportscaster aka boring except for being naked on the internet, which is gross.
5. Shannen Doherty – from Beverly Hill 90210 and Charmed aka AHAHAHAHAAHAH. FALL, FALL, FALL!
6. Buzz Aldrin – Astronaut aka I thought this was the toy from Toy Story, what was his name? Or IS this one in the same? ;p Where is WOODY!?
7. Niecy Nash – from Reno 911 aka I think she’s funny!
8. Nicole Scherzinger – from the Pussycat Dolls aka obviously this is unfair, she is paid to dance in very little clothing ALREADY.
9. Evan Lysacek – Olympic Gold Medalist and World Champion aka I am so bored of the Olympics.
10. Kate Gosselin – Reality TV Star aka shave her head, SHE IS SO ANNOYING.
11. Jake Pavelka – The Bachelor aka no one cares unless he’s a rich cow farmer who is related to Thomas Jefferson.
Dancing with the Stars premieres on March 22 on ABC. Mocking Dancing with the Stars starts NOW.
Sirlinksalot: Dancing with the Stars