For a girl who loves Texas so much, Courtney Kerr doesn’t respect Texan law much.

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Courtney Loves Dallas Season 1, Episode 5 – Courtney Loves Besties Recap

Leaving tearfully from dinner with Matt Nordgren, Courtney cries with her face artfully displayed on a faux fur pillow, as we get a great look at her large golden owl ring. Matt (on “matt sneaky cell”) engages in aggressive phone calling, and she eventually answers, laying weak on the couch full of more throw pillows than even I think is appropriate. He says he’s confused, he needs her, and he loves her. Making us not hate her too much, she hangs up on him (but only after feeling she’s gotten a bit of the upper hand in the situation – since he still wants her and she can deny him for now.)

She wakes, emotionally exhausted. You know that because she turns a picture of her and Matt (by her bed) the other way around, as though he’s deceased.

It’s Shannon first day to intern. Courtney doesn’t even seem to notice her outfit, and puts her to work steaming her curtains. This task is explained because, “I don’t have a housekeeper.”

Court returns with champagne, to “celebrate.” Tori arrives, not ready to believe that court has “officially” cut Matt Nordgren out of her life. Shannon listens, awkwardly. Courtney says…uh, go check my mail downstairs! Tori and Court explain to each other, how obviously Matt and Courtney WERE in a relationship before. They decide he has a man vagina.

Should Court go with Tori to see Prada shoes, or should she create her mood board she needs to give Bauble Bar. (That sounds like serious work, no wonder she’s such a harder worker.) Instead, Court asks Shannon to recreate the mood boards.

Court also explains that Bauble Bar isn’t really letting her create jewelery, she’s just changing colors and metal finishes. HA. For the “Courtney Kerr collection.”

It’s a new day, and Courtney notices Shannon’s outfit enough to call it cute. It’s time for a skype call with Bauble Bar! What’s bad, is that Courtney is talking about styling a look instead of creating jewelry looks, specifically. This mood board presentation isn’t going well. Until, that is, the music cues up and we are to believe she’s turned it all around! But Bauble Bar thinks it’s going to be a, “super strong collection.” Which makes me question how professional/smart this company is that they’d praise this nonsense.

Tori and Courtney check something off the ‘ol bucket list by going to Marfa to see Prada shoes. Immediately I have a flashback to a piece of art from ‘Gossip Girl.’ But I AM distracted by the four girls on the road trip pulling over to pee in a field. Why are the girls of BRAVO Thursday night always peeing in weird places? (See: ‘Toned Up’.)

Court screeches and acts nutty, while one of her friends is pregnant, and another has a kid that’s giving her a hard time. But COURTNEY HAS TO BE THE STAR OF THE MOMENT. Because she can’t bike ride properly, so the sheriff arrives and says they have to ride with the flow of traffic and not in the the street. Naturally, Courtney cries and snuggles her Michael Kors bag.

Our dear Court pisses off her friends, as she keeps talking about herself over and over again. It’s definitely annoying, and she definitely doesn’t care.

FINALLY, it’s time for Prada shoes (a museum.) Court decides to turn it into a blog post, so Tori has to take pictures aka one hundred of Court in various poses. But then they saw a guy, and they talk him into taking a ton of pictures of the four of them.

Next week: Tori is going to take Court to task!