IT’S BACK! COUGAR TOWN IS BACK! I MAY NOT BE ABLE TO STOP USING CAPS THE ENTIRE REVIEW BECAUSE I AM JUST. THAT. EXCITED. Okay. I’ll stop. But on the inside, I’m still using all caps. Squee!!

Jules and Grayson - the proposal. Photo: ABC

For those who don’t know, this premiere has been heavily promoted by showrunner, Bill Lawrence on his twitter. He has had free viewing parties at bars all across America. He posted a 10 minute highlight reel of the entire season. Also he and Courteney Cox gave out bottles of Cult Wine to about 200 viewers who agreed to stay home on Valentine’s to watch the premiere. I’m enjoying a Big Carl of it right now. This is in no way going to make me biased. I loved the show no matter what. It may, however, mess with my ability to form coherent sentences as the show goes on. But let’s just get to it, shall we.

Title Card:

Yeah, it’s still called Cougar Town. We’re not happy about it either.

What Happened:

Jules yelled at some noisy skateboarders (with sexy long greasy hair), which Grayson found completely predictable. Just like everything else Jules does. Jules was not happy about to know everyone finds her predictable and gave Grayson a hard time about it.

Those skateboarders also retaliated by “sharking” Jules’s car. So she goes with Tom and Laurie to TP the skateboarders house. Like the adult she is. And then the cops come. But Laurie already has an ankle monitor (for beating up some chic in Tampa) so she bolts. As does Tom. But it wasn’t really the cops. It was Grayson. Grayson sharked the car. He knew she would TP the house (which is actually just one of her listings). He did it as a way to surprise her and get everyone to show up and have her proposal that’s like a fairytale. (I have a lot to say about that so I’m saving that til after the quotes.)

Travis now lives in a two bedroom house with 9 other guys – I’d love to know the sleeping arrangements. One of the fun features of the house: a home made green screen. Bobby comes over and has fun with that repeatedly. And then he leaves Dog Travis with Human Travis, much to Human Travis’s chagrin. But then Human Travis accepts Dog Travis and father and son hug it out in the rain, green screen style.

Meanwhile, Stan has become the devil child and hits everyone and destroys all items. Ellie and Andy are now scared of him. One person not scared of him – Laurie. She gets along with him just great and Ellie looooves that. Just kidding. She doesn’t. She’s afraid he will turn into Laurie. But Laurie says it won’t happen because unlike her, Stan has amazing parents. Or he will just be evil forever. You know, whatever.

Favorite Cougar Town Quotes:

Laurie: Woah, woah, wait. Are we only drinking on the weekend now? Because we need to vote on that. Guys?
Everyone: NO!

Ellie: Stanley Torres! You are going to clean up all of these toys and then go write Rosa an apology note.
Stan: Doubt it.
(I include this one, because I love when kids are worse than mine. Even fictional ones.)

Grayson (Morning Routine Song): I’m not predictable you say, perhaps it’s true. But when you wake, here’s what you’ll do. Brush your teeth. Wash your face. Check your nose. Just in case. Eat your breakfast. Bacon and Eggers. Take your pill so you don’t get preggers. Find your mouth guard. Check your mail. Work out time. If it’s late you bail. Where’s your mouth guard? You threw it away. It’s all the same, every day. But we don’t mind. We’re glad to wait. Cuz we all know that right at eight, you’ll come down stairs. On our knees, all together…
Grayson, Ellie, Andy and Bobby: Coffee please!
Grayson: It’s Jules slightly longer morning routine song!

Laurie: Of course, some babies are just devil babies.

Travis’s roommate: Dude. How often is your mother going to come over?
Travis: Probably more often than I’d like.

(Truth, Travis. Truth.)

Ok…. before we get to this last bit let me take a second. I LOVED Friends. Loved. It. So much. Just thinking about Chandler and Monica proposing to each other makes me start to get all misty. So the thought of another epic Courteney Cox proposal made me a little nervous, because how can you live up to that one? But it did. So here it is:

Grayson: I thought you wanted to do the talking.
Jules: I’m speechless.
Grayson: Really? You?
Jules: *nods*
Grayson: I love you so much. Will you marry me?
Jules: Okay. I’m going to say yes. So don’t get nervous. I just, um, I wanted to think of a way to say it so you know how happy you make me.
Grayson: That was pretty good.
[kissy kissy]
Jules: I’m not boring, am I?
Grayson: No. You’re a crazy person.

And there is my favorite proposal on TV in some time. Mostly because I too am a crazy person. So it’s nice to hear it said as a positive.

Side note. Bobby’s reaction to the proposal was pitch perfect. Well done Brian Van Holt. Well done. If you didn’t catch it, be sure to rewatch it on Hulu.

What did you think? Is every SO EXCITED to have the Cul de Sac Crew back on TV?

I’m going to go pound some more grapes in celebration.

Written by Melissa Miller. Find her on Twitter @serrae

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