Better read this Chuck review of “Chuck vs the Hack Off” before the Piranha hacks you! (Or offers you a menacing buttered popcorn jelly bean. Because, ew. Everyone knows that watermelon is the best flavor.)

danny pudi chuck

CHUCK -- "Chuck vs. the Hack Off" Episode 505A -- Pictured: (l-r) Scott Krinsky as Jeff Barnes, Danny Pudi as Vali Chandrasekaren, Joshua Gomez as Morgan Grimes -- Photo by: Matt Kennedy/NBC

Chuck vs. the Hack Off Review – Chuck Season 5

Lester becomes the Godfather

The timing of Lester and Casey being thrown into jail at the same time (both for charges involving homicide!) was fun for so many reasons. And, yes, by the end of “Chuck versus the Hack Off” they’re both free… still, it was a hell of a fun time on the inside. While Casey made a love connection with Gertrude (more on that later, oh man) Lester used the wisdom of a movie I’ve never seen (Caged Heat) to become the big man on the totem pole. When he kept talking about pulling a plug, it was directed towards a bald guy and I was looking for hair plugs. But, of course, Lester meant internet connections! And just like us, felons have tech addiction. It was very clever the way he used his technical advantages to keep him from being pounded. (Ahem.)

Casey, Gertrude, and Sarah (Just read!)
Casey and Gertrude don’t have time to waste on Chuck season 5! They were all kissy face in the closet. Gertrude is bad ass and it is her who takes care of Dekker, steals the virus back, and convinces Casey that he has to go against all of his instincts and break free of the prison illegally. Meanwhile, Sarah is there to encourage Gertrude to talk about her feelings. Sarah cares about Casey and she probably think his impending love life is pretty sweet. Equally sweet is that Casey asked Gertrude to personally help out his team.

And when Gertrude makes her confession of love, it’s to the patiently understanding and open-minded Sarah. Though Casey already has a daughter in Alex, Sarah also strikes me as an unofficial daughter or cousin to him. (And Chuck would be the nerdy brother-in-law to Casey! And so will Morgan. Making Chuck and Morgan unofficial brothers, I think? Family trees are confusing.)

The Piranha and his Thinking Juice

Did you forget what a good hacker Chuck was? He did. But he’s got “The Routine” (which involves chardonnay aka his “thinking juice”) and it all makes him pretty giddy. In fact, his nickname used to be “The piranha” and the movie “Swordfish” was based on him. (That’s a movie I saw, but only vaguely remember… Halle Berry was topless and John Travolta was there. This is the best synopsis you’re getting from me.) P.S. Do you want the sock monkey wine caddy?

The Church of the Eternal Wind

The secret compound was a nudist colony aka cult aka hilarious. I know I shouldn’t make fun of nude cultist, but … the way they did it on Chuck was extra fun. There’s been plenty of mentions of naked cults on TV and in movies, but rarely do you see such a gung-ho approach to putting it all out there…literally. Both Zachary Levi and Yvonne Strahovski stripped down to barely anything in order to appear as nude with their naughty bits blurred on the screen.

However, the part of the cult I won’t make fun of is how peaceful and (mostly) stress-free it seemed. I hate chaos, and meditating by a lake and hearing a drum circle doesn’t seem so bad. Hey, I’m halfway to enlightenment (or into being a prime suspect to be recruited into a cult. Pick me!)

Chuck and Sarah at the cult was generally just a really fun scene. Chuck gets into drumming, man! And Sarah is pretty quick to get nude! … Just saying!

Misc Great Moments

  1. Chuck and Sarah’s vertical collapse after being tranqued was really fun. I love that Chuck caught Sarah (unintentionally.) He’s always there for her!
  2. Was The Omen virus supposed to look like stuff from “The Matrix” movie? I’ve never been as into it as other people…
  3. Morgan’s impersonation of a drunk faced Chuck was so adorable.
  4. The approximation of Vik Sahay looking like Victoria Beckham isn’t entirely wrong! They both have killer cheekbones. But I won’t go into them all here, so just click here for more Chuck season 5 quotes from Chuck vs the Hack Off.
  5. The musical choice of the song about getting fresh was particularly well-suited to the scenes where Sarah fights the one cult leader while Chuck gets fresh with … well, I forget his name. And you should always ask for a name before getting that fresh with someone, Chuck! Click here for more info on Chuck vs the Hack Off songs.
  6. Ah yes,  the preferred cuisine of a hacker: nachos and gourmet jelly beans.
  7. Community Cameos: Danny Pudi was great (and hey, he really can sing) as was the brief cameo done by Yvette Nicole Brown.
  8. The idea of an Indian Modeling Agency … is very likely true. I don’t know!
  9. Chuck’s approximation of Hacker style: cargo pants, hoodie, backpack, beanie and later we see he has a sock monkey bottle caddy! This is the reason I am drawn to tech nerds!
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