Charlie Sheen is a warlock who likes tigerblood. So Time Life has hopped on this train and made magic happen.

Or maybe it’s just Jimmy Fallon doing a kickass impression. It’s hard to tell. Watch this fake infomercial for “Charlie Sheen: Things I’ve Said.” It features classics like:

  • Rock star from Mars
  • Tiger Blood is Dripping from my Fangs
  • Winning (Duh!)
  • Adonis DNA
  • Fools and Trolls and Warlocks

Video after the jump!

Future phrases:

  • I’ll Have What Sheen’s Having
  • Seagulls are Racist
  • Warlock Matrix
  • Laser Yoga! Laser Yoga!
  • Stay Away, Stamos
  • Goddesses With Benefits

And so many more!

Visit Small Screen Scoop daily, so you can win at life. Duh.