Let’s take a moment to pause and honor how pretty Blair’s Tiffany Blue diaries are. And now let’s march forward and get onto the quotes/review of “The Return of the Ring.”

"I showed up in this ugly, 60's in Las Vegas style orange dress for YOU, Chuck. Now let's make a mess of things one more time." - Blair

Do you want to steam laundry in Siberia? Mobilize the troops! – Blair Waldorf Quotes
Blair’s never been one to be especially sweet to Dorota, but it always does kinda bug me when she’s so mean.  I think Dan should help Dorota publish a tell-all book about the Waldorfs. But Dorota is so loyal (brainwashed) that she’d never go along with it. Pity. I would totally read a book from Dorota’s POV.

Your grand children will brag that their ancestors were belitted by Blair Waldorf. – Gossip Girl Quotes Season 5
And the funniest part is, I thought about this and realized it’s probably true. Wouldn’t you brag if someone like Brooke Astor had belitted you? It’s a story. It shows that you were known by someone important. I mean… it’s totally twisted. But I still sort of see the logic.

Charles is family. – Lily Bass Quotes
In the last half of the season Lily has not come across warm, loving, or … there’s not really any good adjective I’d adhere to her (the VDW’s have really taken a turn for the worst!) so the one redeeming quality she’s had is that she has treated Chuck like part of the family when he’s needed one so desperately. Stay tuned for Gossip Girl Season 6 when I’m sure she’ll be in cahoots with Bart, and totally deny Chuck has any right to be on the board of the company or whatever, blah blah. Business is boring.

You look just as beautiful in black as you did in white. – Gossip Girl Quotes Season 5
The significance of this quote has to do with the fact that divorce parties are now a thing. A trendy, totally real thing. People get divorce cakes all of the time. (And they can be quite creative, I must say…having spent way too long looking at them on different websites one particularly boring Saturday night.) I also liked that this was the start of a lot of the stories on Gossip Girl – that iconic bar where Serena stole Nate from Blair, she then kind of (not really) stole Dan from Blair. The parallels were pretty.

I don’t want to be Mr. Blair Waldorf. I’m Chuck Bass. – Chuck Bass Quotes
…I’ll probably always laugh at this catchphrase, but it’s clever how they organically work it in all the time on the show. And it’s super frustrating that Blair has left Dan (ugh, Dair!) and gone for Chuck the very instant he’s decided to once again turn off his feelings for her. Really, the only word I can use to describe the whole process is “frustrating.” And it should be … exciting, or dramatic, or scintillating. But I’m just like, really?! Was Dan really just a detour? Because if so, that sucks. Dan and Blair has a more mature love. And I can never see Serena and Dan getting back together again. Serena is a lost cause. And I shouldn’t say that, even about a fictional character… but I’m really over her.

Will Gossip Girl Season 6 be the last season? I think so.

Gossip Girl “The Return of the Ring” Quotes. Photo: The CW