Here’s what I love about this week’s Cougar Town quotes: In the first ten seconds Courteney Cox’s character, Jules, summed up the entire episode (see: the first quote I have listed). Well played, writers. Well played. But there was more than just one awesome quote in the episode, “Something Big.” Duh. So here are some of my favorites.

Jules: You know what sucks about getting married to you?
Grayson: I can’t think of a thing.
Ellie: I can think of so many things.
Jules: You were such a ho-bag that I always feel like I’m fifty feet away from some hoochie you slept with.
Grayson: Ridiculous.
Jules: Hey girls it’s Grayson!
Hoochie: Gray Gray!

And there it is. The point of the episode. Grayson was a man-whore before he settled down with Jules. Which leads to tonight’s big twist!

Ellie: I need some alone time. This little Cul de Sac Crew does everything together.
Jules: That’s not true! Yesterday I took a shower without talking to you on speaker phone.
Ellie: And…?
Jules: It was horrible!

Just in case it wasn’t entirely clear just how codependent this relationship can be, especially on Jules’s end….

Jules: Our marriage didn’t have a chance. I was pregnant. I dropped out of school. Bobby was sleeping with Cathy Valero, our weather lady.
Laurie: From News Channel 7?
Jules: I know! How cool is that?

Because even if it hurt, it was still pretty cool. I guess?

Jules: Do you think Dr. Metler sees us as a good couple?
Grayson: It’s hard to know for sure, you know, unless we had her notebook. Oh wait! [pulls out notebook from under counter] I do!
Jules: You stole her notebook?!? I have never been so attracted to you.
Jules and Grayson: Soulmates!!

This made me giggle so much in delight I had to pause it. And not just to get the quote written out. But because how fantastic/twisted is it that they bond over things like stealing their therapist’s notebook?

Jules: You know her?
Laurie: Yes, since like grade school. And here’s my baby girl.
Jules: You know her?
Laurie: Tampa’s my goddaughter.
Grayson: My daughter’s name is Tampa?
Laurie: You’re the father?
Ellie: I think this might be my favorite day ever.

So. Much. Love. Oh when Laurie walked in and those bits of information were dumped on everyone (including the audience) in a matter of seconds I think the only person happier than me was Ellie. Just, yes. Laurie is the Godmother of Grayson’s love child? Oh Cougar Town, you are my happy place.

Andy: How come Angie gets to stay?
Angie: Oh, I occasionally let him touch my boobs.
Andy: Hey, I’ll do that.

I love any Andy being creepy in love with Bobby moments. But also, I was just happy to see Angie. Sarah Chalke is fantastic. Someone make her a regular, okay?

Grayson: Sitting there. All depressed. You look beautiful. Why don’t we go upstairs and make a baby that’s even better than my other baby.
Jules: Are you kidding?
Grayson: Yes. You aren’t ready to joke. I know that now.

Oh Grayson. You so dumb sometimes.

Travis (to Laurie): I’ll still do anything to see you smile.

OMG. I die. Seriously. I can’t with these two. They are my Cougar Town OTP.  (you know, besides Jules and Grayson)

This episode had a lot of sweet moments, and I didn’t get them all. Probably because I was blinded by the Travis/Laurie love. But those were some of my favorites. And I hope Holly sticks around because the conversations she and Laurie can have… wow. Comedy gold.

Written by Melissa Miller. Find her on Twitter @serrae

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