With so many targets on the likes of Chris Bukowski, Kalon McMahon and Blakeley Shea… how is it that Erica Rose and Michael Stagliano were the ones to leave? Let’s recap Bachelor Pad 3!

After the last rose ceremony, Chris was left devastated to realize some people in his alliance had lied to him. GASP, SHOCK, get over it. See, people did not vote off Blakeley, so he was upset. Wah. As he pouted around, it was pretty hard to feel bad for him considering how many mean and manipulative things he’s done and said throughout Bachelor Pad 3. On The Bachelorette with Emily Maynard he didn’t have a major lasting impression. If anything, he’d seemed sweet. But now? The last thing you could call him is sweet.

The challenge involved stacking teacups and plates, while walking. Blakeley immediately felt she had a leg up since she’s worked at Hooters for (did I hear this wrong?) 13 years.

Erica Rose lamented that there was no challenge that catered to her strengths – like shopping. Elle Woods may have a black belt in shopping, but Erica? No.

During the challenge, the girls were dropping so many pieces of china that it looked damn near dangerous. Every time it seemed a girl was about to add her sixth cup, she’d drop them. It didn’t look like anyone was ever going to win! But then, somehow, Blakely and Sarah were tied… and Sarah was disqualified for touching her cups. Blakely won! I have to admit I was happy for her.

As the men took on the challenge, (And the men were not having as tough a time as the women. Why? They have stronger arms.) Blakely was coaching Tony and following him. And though Sarah said it was so annoying (sure, it was) she actually helped Tony win! He’d never won a challenge yet, so maybe there’s a method to her madness.

Because Blakeley and Tony both won, are partners, and decided to go on their date together… there was an extra rose. Blakeley decided to give the rose to Kalon McMahon and Lindzi Cox .It was incredibly sweet because this pair are kind of dating but hadn’t ever had a date away from the house yet. Plus, Kalon hates Chris.

When it came time to pick date one or date two, Blakeley she picked number two – which was an overnight date. Seemed like the better choice, right? Wrong.

Lindzi and Kalon were loaned Neil Lane diamond jewelry and a Bentley for their date.An entire bridge (in L.A.) had been shut down for them to sit on. A chandelier was hanging over them, blah blah. It was impressive and romantic. Kalon said it was their first proper date, but that they’d had plenty of little mini dates around the house (which we’ve never seen.)

(Isn’t it weird that Lindzi Cox is so amazing and generally beloved by the Bachelor community, while Kalon McMahon is almost universally hated? And by “funny” I mean … super ironic.)

We got more insight into their relationship. Kalon said Lindzi was the one thing that kept him sane in this process. “I never in a million years thought I would find this… I had lost all hope and faith in this concept… and finding you is the most pleasnt surprise I could have ever dreamed of.” He said with Emily he had to “force it” from day one, but he’s “possibly/maybe” in love with the girl he was with. Well, no need to slam Emily, but it’s nice to hear how much he likes Lindzi.

And Lindzi said he was funny and genuine and kind.. and that America hasn’t seen those parts of them.

Back at the house, Chris wore his hoodie up like an emo dude, and made Sarah (okay, she was really willing) listen to how upset he was. He was like a little boy. So, as they talked and they decided that Kalon and Lindzi were both shady. (That’s like in high school when people used that word to describe anyone they didn’t like.) So, Chris’ plan is to vote Lindzi off. Classy. “Watch out Kalon, I’m coming after your girl,” he said. “Ungh, that’ll be fun,” he said to himself as he slapped his thigh. Basically, he seems like a serial killer at this point. CHRIS, WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOU?

Blakely and Tony had their overnight date… and Tony was actually into this date. Romantically.  I worried about whether Blakeley was going to be as into it.

Erica Rose offered up this bit of info: “Blakeley’s just a little bity more on the trashy side.” Blakeley is a little tacky, maybe. But Erica is the trashy one.

While Lindzi and Kalon got diamonds and a Bentley… this pair got a jeep and a camper. “I don’t like wood badger monsters,” she said. Of course, who does? But the two eventually built a campfire and had a good time. They even shared a kiss. Bless Tony, he’s such a genuine guy.

Chris sucked up to Ed, and then they talked about how much they hated Kalon. Chris planted the seed about how they should out Lindzi.Boo.

Michael Stagliano made a mini date area for Rachel Truehart and opened up to her. It was sweet, even though I’ve never been a big Rachel fan.

Tony is actually friends with Chris. So Chris decided he wanted to have Tony give a rose to Sarah. Naturally, Blakeley would not like that. And apparently B & T had already talked about how they wanted to give the rose to. Who did the rose go to? Tony gave the rose to —- oh wait, Chris interrupted to talk to him. It was to be like, one more time, save Sarah! Luckily, the rose went to Jaclyn. That’s unexpected.

When Chris Harrison asked about who had coupled up, it came out that Jaclyn and Ed weren’t together because Ed said he didn’t want romance with anyone. Ouch.

The twist on Bachelor Pad was that the woman who gets booted off (everyone votes for a female) gets to pick the man who leaves with her. Niiiice.

Michael Stagliano voiced that they should vote for Erica Rose. And even better? He said they should tell Erica that Chris was the one who was trying to do it. It was working, too. Until… Chris showed Erica how he voted by pulling her into the voting booth with him.

Erica was voted out, and she picked Michael Stagliano to leave with her. This made Rachel Truehart want to leave. And Erica started serving justice and talking about karma and blah blah blah, she hit below the belt. But this, at least, made Rachel realize she had to stay.

… Who do you want to win, now? I vote for Tony!

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