Never have such lackluster kisses set off a fireworks display like that. But more Ed and Jaclyn later.

Let’s get to the recap!

“The Bachelor Pad Game Show” was an emotional challenge that everyone participated in for the show.

First there was some boring trivia about The Bachelor and Bachelorette history. Snooze. The best part must have been the “who said that” section. A quote was read, and they had to guess… yup, who said that!

And there were a few hurt feelings after the game. But apparently there wasn’t enough honesty because the boat wasn’t rocked all that much. Why didn’t the ABC people mine for better intel? All that was revealed was that Blakeley didn’t like Jamie (everyone knew that) and that Jamie didn’t like Jaclyn. Well, that was unfortunate for Jamie when Jaclyn won the challenge. Oops.

Chris was cheering on Sarah, and that made Blakely suspicious and get crazy face. God, she’s aggressive and paranoid. She Hulks out all the time.

Who said Blakely had accomplished the least in life? Nick
Who said they were the most accomplished? Ed
Who said the person in the house that would be the worst parent was Erica because she eats her hair? Kalon
Who said when they first saw the girls in the gymnastics uniform they thought sexy thoughts? David
Who said that Jaclyn is the most fake? Jamie.
Who said the amount of men they’ve slept with was 11, 12, no 9? Blakeley Shea (who said she totally lied)
Who said the most scandalous place they’ve had sex was on top of a car in a public parking lot? Sarah
Who would rather sleep with Chris than their partner? Jamie
Who said that Jamie is the most annoying in the house because she hangs over ever guy? Blakeley

Jaclyn Swartz of the unfortunate face won the girls’ round. Ed  Swiderski won the guy’s round.

Here’s my own version of that, kind of…

The Bachelor Pad 3 Burn Book

Who is the most eligible bachelor on The Bachelor Pad? Michael Stagliano
Who is the most ridiculous? Tie for Erica Rose and Kalon McMahon
Who is possibly suffering Stockholm syndrome? Lindzi Cox
Who is looking the oldest? Ed
Who might find love? Rachel Truehart with Michael Stagliano
Who is the most deluded? Jamie Otis
Who is the sickest manipulator? Chris Bukowski or Kalon McMahon
Who has the funniest commentary? Michael Stagliano
Whose name is the hardest to type? Blakeley or Blakely – I can’t remember, okay, it’s two e’s.

In fact… here’s the rest of the episode done in that manner!

Who compared Jamie to a dog he was putting down? Kalon McMahon
Who said if he said the wrong thing he felt like Blakely would stab him? Chris Bukowski
Who said they hate Jamie? Blakely
Who said “I’m like, really sneaky”? Chris
Who said Jamie is desperate? Chris
Who went on a Dodgers date? Jaclyn and Ed
Who ate a hotdog Lady and the Tramp style? Jaclyn and Ed again
Who said Chris’ voice is “so hot”? Jamie
Who had fireworks go off when they kissed? Ed and Jaclyn – they like each other, but their kiss before the fireworks was so uninspired I practically fell asleep.
Who did Chris pick for his date? Sarah – they ended up spending the night together.
Who is in total denial? Jamie
Who then kept trying to kiss Chris? Sarah!
Who did Ed give his rose to? Rachel
Who tried to vote Blakeley off? Chris
Who was eliminated? Jamie and Dave

I want to know if you think Chris Bukowski is worse than Kalon McMahon. Somehow, Bukowski seems more slimy because he thinks he’s so sly and his manipulation involves women’s hearts. I bet Kalon never thought he’d have to fight someone for the title of total scumbag on Bachelor Pad 3.

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