After Audrina Patridge got the boot last night on Dancing with the Stars, we started wondering what her next “move” might be.
As a “Reality TV Star” Audrina has more clout than just about any job title these days. I mean, what are you, a lousy life-saving Doctor or President of a Country? Geez, you don’t even have your own perfume!? And that is exactly where we begin!
Ideas for What Audrina Patridge Should Do Next
- Market an “Audrina Patridge” perfume for all emotionally sterile like-minded ladies that can (or just hope they can) fill out a bikini nicely. (Note: It is widely believed that Patridge had breast implants. So those are fair game, since rumors operate as truth in her celebrity world.)
- Write a “timely” book about her experiences on The Hills, and who cares if Lauren Conrad has already done that. Twice. Because this time, Audrina is going to tell it like it really is – was – well, you get the point.
- Clothing line time. Let’s dictate some fashion!
- A lowpoint: Celebrity Rehab. Is that show still on? We think she should avoid this.
- Date someone famous. (Note: She’s already dating someone famous, albeit not famous enough for me to remember his name. Ergo, someone else!)
- Jump on yet another reality TV show about people who were previously famous for some reason. See: Celebrity Apprentice. However, a lack of business acumen would probably get her booted off fairly quickly…
- Befriend someone else in a similar situation and go it BFF Bestie style a la the early days of Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie. We hear Kim Kardashian is not interested.
- Rehabilitate Heidi Montag.
- Steal someone’s boyfriend to get in the tabloids. Or: have a juicy affair.
- Guest star on a cheesy scripted TV series like 90210. Gossip Girl won’t have her.
- Do we heard “record deal?”
- Invent a board game.
- Trek through The Alps.
- Get disfiguring plastic surgery done to her face.
- Become a spokeswoman for an energy drink or that creepy “may discolor your eyeballs” eyelash growing Latisse stuff. (But they have Brooke Shields and Claire Danes already.)
Well, what do you think? You may have noticed that half of what is listed are things you’ve seen done by people in Audrina’s position. Some of these, obviously, were just written to be silly and if you don’t have a sense of humor then…well, you’d probably get along with Audrina just fine, actually*.
*Darn, you failed. That was another place where you were supposed to have a sense of humor!