The ANTM All-Stars cycle gave us its’ second episode on Wednesday night. Love it, hate it, fall asleep before it was over? Let’s review the highlights.

Ashlee Simpson

The younger Simpson sister was the guest judge. She’s kind of faded from the limelight, although we did hear her mention her kid and an upcoming album. Still, I would have expected a bigger “trendy” powerhouse as a guest judge so early on, after Nicki Minaj. (Who I don’t even know, but am told is super hot with ze kids.)

Eliminated: Sheena

Well, this wasn’t a huge surprise. So much for being the unexpected, Sheena! I remember this girl from her season, but I don’t think that even back then I thought she was a very strong model. And her jumpsuits were pretty hideous. She seems very sweet and nice, so it’s sad for another dream CRUSHED. What’s interesting is that so far, it’s been girls from older cycles that have been given the boot. I believe … well, my theory is that ANTM thought they’d bring back some of the older fans and retain their newer fans. But the older fans just don’t care as much as they used to, so it’s beneficial for the executives to weigh in favor of the faces that newer fans of the more recent cycles will remember and care about. Ergo, Alexandria will be with us like, forever. And it took us so damn long to get rid of her last cycle. Augh! (Can you tell I’m not a fan?)

Speaking of Alexandria Everett

Her new hair cut is great. With her face shape she sliiiightly reminds me of Yvonne Strahovski (Chuck.) But while Yvonne is a sweetheart, Alexandria is a fake goober. Also, what was UP with her crying for joy because of her haircut? Is she gonna have nervous breakdowns like this every week?

They do it for the fans, guys

I know that both Alexandra and Sheena both mentioned “my fans/the fans.” On the whole, I’m just a fan of the show as a guilty pleasure. I’m a fan of a few certain girls from different cycles (Allison Harvard! Nicole Linklatter!) but I think some of these modelbee’s think they have some serious, major fans. It kind of made me cringe and wonder how big their egso were.

Posing with a hotdog

You can’t do it well. If you try to make it sexy, the hot dog is going to become way too phallic. There’s just no easy way to do it. Now, Laura from a high fashion season (when we started with Italian Vogue) started the girls off right by getting into a high fashion mode with the posing. But I feel like I would have claimed to be vegan and just throw shreds of lettuce in my hair, make a whimsical face and call it a day.

Other small ANTM notes:

  • Kayla seems kind of defeated. And Bre seems depressed, even when her hair looked 100% better after her haircut.
  • Lisa looks WAY old. The haircut helped, but she is no SJP, Andre Leon Talley. And how dare you say that!
  • Allison Harvard should just win.
  • Are you surprised that Ashleey Simpson said Bianca was the prettiest girl there? I can see that.
  • Angelea’s change of hair makes her look … stunning. And elegant. Two things I didn’t think about her before.