"America's Got Talent" judges Piers Morgan, Sharon Osbourne and David Hasselhoff

"America's Got Talent" judges Piers Morgan, Sharon Osbourne and David Hasselhoff

The first quarterfinal round of “America’s Got Talent” took place last night on NBC. My personal highlights were Drew Thomas Magic and Arcadian Broad. I’m really not sure who the 5 advancing tonight will be, but just like last night I will be here bringing you all the news, plus snarky comments about season 2 winner Terry Fator and wife-of-the-host Mariah Carey. Video of some of last night’s performances can be found after the jump.

Here we go, guys. Nick Cannon welcomes us and tell us that Terry Fator and Mariah Carey are performing tonight. Did you know Mariah Carey is performing tonight? I’m so surprised, I had no idea.

We then have to sit through a video recap of last night. Like anybody watching the results show didn’t watch last night. We then have to welcome the judges. Oh, get on with it. We also have to revisit Acrodunkgate  to see if they made their last dunk. They did make it. Riveting.

Our first results pairing is Acrodunk and Breaksk8. This shouldn’t even be close, Acrodunk was far and away better than Breaksk8 last night. And then… Acrodunk is safe. Yeah.

Terry Fator time. I love this guy, he’s amazing. He sings “I Don’t Know Much” by Peabo Bryson and it’s fantastic. Absolutely astounding that he can do that. He then changes puppets and does “Sweet Home Alabama.” It’s not as good as Peabo, but it’s still fun. I like his Joan Rivers/Piers Morgan joke.

There is now a montage of the performers “hanging out” in the Orville Lounge. They have named their lounge after the old man who makes popcorn and I think I just saw Nick Cannon sitting on Grandma Lee’s act. Sigh.

The next acts to step forward are Manuela Horn, Lake Houston Dance and Drew Thomas Magic. If it’s not Drew Thomas Magic, I am going to be very upset. They were one of the best last night. The Lake Houston dancers are sent home first, which surprises me. I figured he’d dismiss Manuela first and create some suspense. Oooh, she better not have made it. And then Drew Thomas gets through. Thank goodness.

The next pair is Mosaic and Kevin Skinner. OH NO. No no no no no. I just know Kevin Skinner the sob story who gave a really mediocre performance last night is going through and Mosaic isn’t. That sucks. And then that’s what happens. Oooh, that is bullshit.

Mariah Time
She performs “Obsessed,” the song that she and Eminem are apparently feuding over. I don’t even know. Nor do I particularly care. The song isn’t catchy enough to be a dance hit, so I’m not sure it’s going to be much of a hit. I have to say, though, after her performance, Mariah and Nick Cannon are totally cute together. Good for them.

The next group is Diva League, Platt Brothers and Grandma Lee.  Well, out of these three the one advancing should be Grandma Lee. She was decently funny, plus her off-the-cuff line was outstanding. I hope she advances. And then she does! Yay! Aw, she starts to cry. What a cute old lady, she reminds me of the grandma I lost when I was 20. She would’ve done something like this. After my grandpa passed, she started performing in a line-dancing group with a bunch of other old ladies and they called themselves “The Silver Liners.” So cute.

For the last results, we find out that the 4 acts who have advanced so far were the top 4 vote-getters and that Thia Megia and Arcadian Broad were the #5 and #6 vote getters. So now the judges decide who advances. Geez, I forgot they did it this way.

The judges see Piers voting for Thia based on her advancement from the auditions (that’s debatable), Sharon goes with Arcadian and The Hoff votes for Arcadian, yay! I’m so glad he advanced.

Arcadian Broad’s performance

Drew Thomas Magic