Leave it to the only possibly grounded person on this show to start getting manipulative. Tonya, we’re watching you.

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90 Day Fiance Recap

Mike and Aziza

It’s time for ’90 Day Fiance,’ a show that I couldn’t believe was even a real show on TV…and now my favorite guilty pleasure. Huzzah! It’s time to learn the answers to our questions like…will Paola start planning her wedding without Russ? Will Aya get the dress of her dreams? Is Aziza going to keep looking run-down and depressed like an indentured servant?

Mike hasn’t called the night after his Bachelor party. In fact, he does a walk of shame, giggling the whole way to the porch to see his fiance. He didn’t call about not coming home that night. And Aziza has no power in her relationship to be mad, only hurt. And Mike gets to feel like a big-man, so popular. Naturally, he did go to a strip club and is lying about it.

Honestly, Mike is gross. With leering eyes and a schoolboy giggle about the dumbest things.

And Aziza has no personality. She’s…lackluster. I’m worried about her. Why does she have almost no emotions?

She went dress shopping with that same posse of women in Mike’s life that all kind of hate her. No clue who is paying for the dress.  (Wanna know why the posse is there? To judge. To be on TV. And because everyone loves to go wedding dress shopping because those poofy dresses are fun to play around with.)

As we saw that Aziza decide on a very modest wedding dress, it made me like her more. Either it was to dissuade Mike from wanting to sexualize her, or maybe because she’s a pretty innocent kind of girl, after all.

In this episode, Azik (what her Mom calls her) learned if her parents were going to be able to come for her wedding. And they could not get Visa’s. Aziza was devastated…which means that she appeared slightly sadder than usual.

It’s the wedding day.

Alan and Kirlyam

They’re getting married tomorrow, so Alan buys his wedding band the night before. Alone, even. Wouldn’t you want your fiance to be there with you? I guess nothing is traditional about this.

She goes to get her nails done. “A manicure?” is what she says. And right away conversation turns into the wedding night, and if she’s excited. She does seem to blush. “I have no idea what I will be doing.” Yikes. “I hope it’s gonna be okay.” And apparently she’s not just getting a manicure, she’s also getting waxed. Legs.

It’s the wedding day!

What’s sweet is that Alan’s sisters are all actually REALLY nice to Kirlyam.

Although she’s late to the wedding, she does get there. Looking very..innocent and sweet. Like some princess.

Their vow’s are exchanged and it’s super sweet and for that moment, I really do think they’re in love.

Their honeymoon is in Hawaii. And Kirlyam can’t pronounce it. But it’s sweet.

Russ and Paola

Russ is going back to work soon, so there’s not a lot of time for wedding planning. But there’s (of course) still time to take dance lessons at “Ballroom Blitz.”

“I’m trying to learn your stinkin’ dance!” – Russ

Paola enjoys flirting with one of the instructor’s and Russ got very angry. Instead of stopping, she kept flaunting it and telling him how silly (and like a penguin) he looked.

Basically, Alan is a schmuck. He’ll put up with anything just to have Paola.

For wedding dress shopping, Paola wants to wear the sluttiest dress ever. The racier the better. That’s he style. But,  Russ is from Oklahoma and his cousin, Ashley, tells her how she can’t wear it. Which…the dress is slutty and ugly and tacky. But she should be allowed to wear whatever dress she wants. However, it also kind of shows that she is probably the wrong person for Russ.

Since the dress was over the budget, it was not the right dress. She’d basically like to get married naked.

Apparently, Russ’s fauxhawk is totally Oklahoma-appropriate. Sure.

“Oh Russ, I think my passion is about to die.” – Paola

Louis and Aya

Louis always seems annoyed and frustrated with Aya, and vice versa. Where is their romance? Are they happy at all? Do they even like each other much? They seem like they’ve been married for fifteen years, and have given up.

Ex-wife Tonya has invited Aya to some school function. Tonya looks a lot older than Louis. I want to think that Tonya is just being a normal person, but she also seems to try and egg her on to leave, or question Louis. She’s all, “he did that with me, that’s why we broke up” and so forth. Not exactly encouraging. And what ex-wife would be encouraging? None. So WHY is Louis letting them hang out? That’s lazy boyfriending. Or fiance-ing. It’s damn lazy, whatever it is.

With all of the weddings happening, does that mean the show is almost over? NOOO.

Come back next Sunday to smallscreenscoop.com for another TV recap.