Next to Project Runway, new Lifetime series 24 Hour Catwalk looks like a sad joke.

Many people are charmed by Alexa Chung, but I’m not. I think she has interesting style, but with her as a host I have three issues: she’s not incredibly endearing on camera, her voice is not pleasing to the ear, and why does every American show think they need a UK host?!

Listen, there is a reason that It’s On With Alexa Chung was canceled. And it’s not because John Mayer doesn’t give a good interview. (Because he does. He really does.) She doesn’t work as a TV host for Americans.

Alexa has said her show is “incredibly mean” but she should have added “and incredibly bad.” That’s right, the disappointment didn’t stop there.

The contestants are all seemingly lacking in talent, at least that’s how it seems based on what they produced. In this episode it seemed that the clear winner was Richard, so when the win went to JoAnn I was baffled. I would disqualify her on her frosty pink lipstick alone.

The sewers add some drama to the show because they like to argue, especially JustRaymona.

The final looks weren’t very great, which really did made me initially think was a lack of talent . Maybe it was partially also because of the time constraints. The only looks I enjoyed were the mod 60’s newspaper look by Richard and the Maid Marian punk look by JoAnn. But the judges favorite look was JoAnn’s knit dress under a kilt with bag hat and choker scarf. So. Yup. That’s what they liked.

The judges are all well-qualified (Cynthia Rowley, Derek Blasberg, James LaForce) to do judging. But they seem awfully concerned in trying to immediatley earn their place by having very off-the-wall sound bytes the way Michael Kors on Project Runway always does. And the fact they liked some of the pieces presented in the pilot made me do a double take about how good their own taste levels were. I’ve also learned in life that I can’t trust someone who says something like, “I always love a high-waisted baggy pant.” Really? Like, sorry, but I expected more from you guys.

Most of the other reviews I’ve seen about 24 Hour Catwalk all urge Alexa Chung to brush her hair. Since I’m being hard about the show, I’ll not mention that her hair looks ratty and she’s much better than that.

24 Hour Catwalk airs on Lifetime, at 10/9c